Two-Faced... Or, Actually, Three-Faced

So, I'll admit that I'm feeling a little narcissistic today, and as I was pondering my awesomeness this morning, I realized that though I write under three pseudonyms, I've never made it very clear WHY. I don't know if any of you particularly care, but indulge me as I explain.

I first started writing as Miss Lagsalot. This was a name tossed off on a whim. My initials spell LAG, and I've always wanted to write as "Lag," but when it came time to actually pick a "nom de porn" to write under for WHACK! Magazine, "Lag" just seemed too... blah. I wanted something flashier. I'd been reading up on some Arthurian legends (yep, I'm a big literature geek) and had the idea that working with Sir Lancelot would be fun. Sir Lagsalot would get all kinds of complicated as people would expect me to be male for interviews and such, so instead I took Miss Lagsalot as my name. I've been writing as Lagsalot for about three years now, I think, and the character that's developed out of reviewing porn, interviewing porn performers, and generally walking that line is a little bit crass, a little loud-mouthed, outgoing, and drunk. All of which describe me only under certain circumstances. Lagsalot writes most of my porn reviews, does my interviews, and speaks for me when I'm surrounded by the adult industry because she's a lot less easy to intimidate than I am.

Lynsey G, on the other hand, was less intentional. When I submitted my proposal to McSweeney's for my porn writing column, I used my full name on the materials, not thinking further ahead than my imminent rejection notice. But imagine my surprise when they decided to take me on as a year-long columnist! I was so excited I didn't even think about the fact that my full name was attached to it until they'd already announced their new columnists and it became clear to me that everyone I went to high school with, and many family members, would see it up there on Google along with the rest of the world. I wrote to them asking them to change my name to just "Lynsey G," and proceeded to write under that name for them for a year. I now write as Lynsey G here on my blog, on Madison Young's TheWomansPOV, and wherever else they'll let me! Lynsey G isn't exactly who I am in real life, but she's a lot closer to the real "me" than Lagsalot. She's more thoughtful, far more introverted, and much more political. She's concerned about the "big issues" of porn, rather than with porn itself. She's a big-time feminist (which Lagsalot is, too, but Lagsalot doesn't spend much time talking about it) and a queer, and she writes in a very unaffected voice.

Then, of course, there's Lag. Lag doesn't get much play because she's the voice of moderation between Lynsey's introversion and Lagsalot's degeneracy. She's who I write as when I'm not sure how to feel or talk about something, so she doesn't have a firm voice of her own. I hope she grows into something someday, but at the moment she's my fallback, and as such might actually be more like me than the other two voices, but I'm not quite ready to use her yet.

Anyway, in case you were wondering, people, that's the Lynsey Lagsalot trinity for you. Cheers!

Interviews-a-Rama

Sorry, my darlings, that there have been no updates yet on the Vibrator Diaries. I'm getting all my little duckies in a row and things have been very very busy here in Lagsalot land! I'm in the midst of preparing for no fewer than THREE interviews tomorrow morning: sultry seductress Sophia St. James, Dutch "porna" TV master Martijn Broersma, and the FPA Heartthrob of the Year, Drew Deveaux! Bear with me as I get my shit together, and tomorrow we shall talk VIBES, baby!

Miss you all! Mwah!

Superheroes, Sex Workers, and Spoils

I woke up today with a pounding headache, nausea, and low grade fever. Since I'm supposed to work all day tomorrow, I'm going to try to take it easy today and postpone my next post about the intricacies of showing consent in porn (a deeper look at the options), in favor of passing on these two INCREDIBLE stories:


1) The New York Initiative is a group of real-life "superheroes" trained in martial arts who are offering their services as vigilantes to sex workers in the New York/Long Island area as a response to the crappy protection the police force here has offered them from The Long Island Serial Killer! This is fucking amazing! I don't want to get too excited here, because I know it's bad form to support a gang of more-or-less thugs taking the law into their own hands... but the Long Island Serial Killer, aka the Craigslist Killer, (seriously? dude needs a better name--or I just have watched too much Dexter and expect "Bay Harbor Butcher" type witticisms now) has mangled far too many sex workers already, and the red tape around sex workers claiming police protection in this state is out of control. So I say more power to the NYI!

They're offering martial arts and improvised weapons training to any and all sex workers who want them, free of charge, as well as their confidential and balls-out protective services. And they're spreading the word: they want everyone to know they're out there protecting the safety and rights of sex workers, insisting, "We respect you as human beings, we believe in personal freedoms and think that you’re doing something that is absolutely your choice to do." Hopefully the message will be spread far and wide and cow the LISK into submission... Or kick the living crap out of him and drag him to a police station. That would be pretty cool, too.

2) Speaking of balls-out-ness and superheroism, I can't even imagine the courage it must have taken to post this blog about how to get through an unpleasant day at work with the least pleasant mental imagery ever. I don't think I could ever admit this kind of thing to anyone, much less the anonymous fathoms of the internet. But Danny Wylde isn't your average porn performer, and he went ahead and said it. Much respect for revealing a side of the industry and of humanity that gets pushed under the rug far too often, Danny. Let's talk.

Tidbits to Tantalize You

 I may not appreciate all the sentiments in The Observer article, but I gotta admit,

this graphic is quite entertaining.

Welcome to spring, my lovelies! It is officially post-spring equinox now, and we are officially on our way toward warmer days and higher libidos! I don't know about you guys, but I find it a whole lot more difficult to get randy when my toes are freezing and I'm under five blankets. How are you supposed to throw your partner around and enjoy yourself when it's fifty degrees in your apartment?

Oh, wait, that's just me because my landlord's a psycho and keeps the heat too low? Ah. Well. At any rate, I'm looking forward to warmer weather. This winter in NYC was brutal, outside and inside.

Anyway, as it's getting warmer I'm having a harder time sitting still to write. I'm assuming you are, too. Given it's a beautiful spring weekend, let's not be too serious about our fodder today, shall we? Let's link:

1) Fascinating study results on the LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) phenomenon: turns out women don't experiment with other women nearly as much in college as we all thought they did. Surprisingly (or not) enough, less-educated, less-privileged women have substantially more same-sex sex and relationships. Well I'll be damned! You mean less-educated working women have rich and interesting personal lives less informed by what society expects of them and less carefully considered in light of what feminist literary theory says? No way!
Actually, this news makes me feel much better about my notably less-than-lesbian college experience. I've known for most of my adult life that I liked women, but I've never been good at expressing that to other women. Especially as a petite, femme-by-genetics woman who also liked men, I just never knew how to attract women who wanted to "experiment" as much as I wanted to. When I found one who wanted to make out in a bar, it always turned out she was experimenting for the benefit of the watching men nearby. I wanted to take her home. It never worked out further than some awkward fumbling, and I felt very sad about this because I believed that women were supposed to do this in college and I must have just been that unattractive to the experimental ones. That or I was at a Catholic university... hm... Might've been the Catholicism, now that I think about it.

ANYWAY...

2) The Observer says that young people in New York are no longer interested in sex because they're too busy worrying about their online personas getting mixed up with someone else's, preserving their mystique, and doing cocaine. Lucky for the libido of the city, however, we're assured that the younger generation, the 19- and 20-year-olds, are horny as ever and ready to take their places.
I've never been much of a hard partier or bar-goer myself, so I guess I can't comment much on the phenomenon, but I think some of the ideas mentioned in the article as side notes should be taken way more into consideration than your Facebook wall the day after a one night stand: for instance, Freeman mentions that "the cab right back to Bushwick" after a Manhattan bar is awkward and better avoided. But Freeman seems not to take this into real consideration: he's assuming that, A) the young professionals have enough cash to get a cab way the hell out to Bushwick, and B) that it's ridiculous to think young people would let a commute get between themselves and boning. But let's be real. A) Most young people between 21 and 30 in NYC are people like me, who have taken the very worst of the brunt of the recession. We're not exactly swimming in cash here. Cabs are expensive. An awkward cab right is one thing: a fluorescent-lit, crowded, uncomfortable, and too-long-because-the-MTA-never-fixes-anything subway ride? Dealbreaker. If one of you lives in Astoria and the other in Bushwick and you've got work tomorrow and you need to rely on getting the N train home after midnight? Fucking forget it. Sex is great, but it's not worth that. Make a date for later or drop it. B) Speaking of getting reamed by the recession more than the opposite sex: anyone who wants to have a real career in NYC right now who's at the "assistant" or "associate" level at his or her company isn't make shit for a salary and is probably working another job when he/she gets home at night. We all have blogs, some of which are professional in nature. Lots of us wait tables or tend bar to make extra cash to cover the rest of the bills in this overpriced metropolis, or we take night classes in the hopes that someday we CAN make enough money at one job. By the time our daily routine of work, work, and more work is over, that subway ride home with a new acquaintance is looking more dismal than ever.
Look, I'm not saying they're RIGHT. I know plenty of people who have fun random hook-ups all over the place. But I admit, I often marvel that they can muster the energy. Being young and in New York right now is exhausting. It's always been exhausting, but I'd argue that most of us are balancing a whole lot more work than social life right now to stay afloat, and sometimes, even when you're young, it's too much to want to get it on with that cute piece of ass at the end of the bar.
Also, c'mon Observer. Can we please be done making new and improved versions of "Sex and the City" headlines and titles for things? God, that show's been off the air for years now, and it's obviously ruined living in New York for everyone young and sexy by making people expect way too much out of our libidos already! Thanks.


3) Can I just show some more disgust for Apple real quick? Seriously, I've been annoyed at this company for subtly brainwashing its faithful into a weird state of Mac-crazed, glazed-eyed submission for years now. And I was pretty annoyed that in some circles the release of the new iPad outweighed the disaster in Japan as a newsworthy topic last weekend. And I've always found Apple's creepy sense of over-morality unsettling: come on, you make some of the most user-friendly tech gadgets in the world and you won't let people put porn apps on them? WTF?
But now I'm really pissed. While the App store continues to deny anything "overtly sexual" admittance to the Pearly, Sleek, and Impossibly Cool Gates, it's ok with the Exodus International app. Exodus International is a virulently anti-homosexual organization that favors exorcism, the God/Satan dichotomy, and demon-blaming when it comes to homosexuality. Ummm... Apple? You got anything to say about this? You might, um... Want to do that. Stat.

Scrumptious and Sexy in S Magazine

Prrrowr! I just got a glimpse of some images from Daniel Levitt's recent feature in S Magazine, courtesy of my daily Bust Magazine newsletter, and... prrrowr! These images are, to coin a high fashion term, "fierce" as hell. Curvy ladies in super high fashion accessories and classic erotic poses, sometimes with yummy food nearby, mostly nude, totally sexy. I like it way much. Take a peak!

Bust points out that the issue of food in high fashion and women's ideas about their own sexual acceptability is, well, one that's so omnipresent it's always thought about but never featured. I think it's way brave of these women to not only say "fuck the status quo" as per bodies in fashion, but to also say "fuck what you think about me eating" by posing with sumptuous feasts like the above. This is ballsy and flat-out gorgeous.

Considering "Sex is Cheap" and the Outrage it Caused

When Slate published an article called "Sex is Cheap" by Mark Regnerus earlier this week, people went a little apeshit about it. Regnerus's main point in the feature was that while young men these days seem to be falling behind the benchmarks made by their predecessors in the academic and professional arenas, they are still king in one very important part of life: sex. According to the article, his research for a book called "Pre-Marital Sex in America" has led him to understand that the more women rise to power in the rest of the world, the "cheaper" sex becomes for both sexes. When there are more women than men in the boardroom and the classroom, he argues, it's easier to get sex in the bedroom and therefore women are putting up with a lot of, well, losers. And giving up sex earlier in relationships. And not demanding commitment or marriage in return. And a whole lot of other rather silly things that may or may not be true, but which Regnerus seems to find generally morally lax.

Well, that's his opinion. When I read the article, I'll admit, I got annoyed. "If women were more fully in charge of how their relationships transpired, we'd be seeing, on average, more impressive wooing efforts, longer relationships, fewer premarital sexual partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on," for instance, really annoyed me. So, what, that means that women across the board all want romance, long-term commitments, and no test-driving before marriage? That's silly. And, "the market 'price' of sex is currently very low. There are several likely reasons for this. One is the spread of pornography: Since high-speed digital porn gives men additional sexual options—more supply for his elevated demand—it takes some measure of price control away from women. The Pill lowered the cost as well.... The sexual decisions of young women look more like those of men than they once did" also got to me. Sure, the Pill allowed women to use sex for pleasure without worrying about pregnancy, but now we've got STDs to worry about in its place. And porn being real competition in the bedroom? Come on, that argument is so over-used it hardly even bears consideration.

But I was able to turn the computer off after reading this without being livid. After all, some of the points he made, while being couched in decidedly fuddy-duddy old-fashioned language, were interesting and based on some generally accepted scientific evidence. And I'm not exactly a newbie at reading things about women and sex that are annoying.

But apparently a whole lot of other people got much more than annoyed by this article. Violet Blue, over at open source sex, for one. Violet is one my favorite feminist sex bloggers because she never holds any punches on what she really thinks about a topic, and she's usually right on the bullseye with her opinions. But this time... Eh...

She's right to be pissed off that Slate allowed Regnerus to go on a slut-shaming rant that suggested that women SHOULD want marriage and monogamy and all the other things we've spent so long trying to prove that we DON'T always want, that in fact those things we've been told to want for centuries are the very things that kept us down in the first place. But I'm not so sure as Violet that Regnerus is wrong in every way, nor that his often-overgeneralized assumptions about sex and relationships and man- and womankind are all wrong.

For instance, while Violet never says this explicitly, she suggests that women withholding sex until they have some kind of commitment in place or at least promised is an outdated and dangerous ideal that should have gone out with June Cleaver. But why? Sure, a lot of us don't hold off anymore, and we certainly don't have to if we don't want to. I'm a big fan of jumping into bed whenever you feel comfortable. But does female sexual empowerment necessarily HAVE to mean that we don't withhold sex until we're sure it's worth it? There are still STDs out there, and no matter how long you've been on the Pill or the whatever, you can still get pregnant. And, hey, maybe it's not worth having sex with a guy until you know you like and trust him. I don't think that Violet would argue with any of that, but the way she phrased her vitriolic reactions to Regnerus's implications that many women used to do this and are doing it less these days makes it seem as if she thinks sex should, to the enlightened man and the enlightened woman, be a zero sum game with no consequences that we SHOULD enter into anytime we want without much consideration. I just don't agree wholeheartedly with that notion. Sex does have its consequences, whether emotional, physical, or maternal, and for many women it's still not worth taking those risks until they are certain it will pay off. Sure, women like Violet and myself may prize the ideal of intelligent, professional women enjoying sex for its own sake and not making it a political move within the context of a relationship or non-relationship, but it's just unrealistic to pretend that women DON'T do this. I know plenty of women who do, and though it seems callous and backwards sometimes, they have their reasons. Of course I wish they didn't use it in such a callous way, but they do. No matter how high your ideals about womanhood and sexuality, when one looks at humanity in general and the ways in which people behave, treating sex as a bargaining tool is one of our most common practices. Clicking our tongues and acting morally superior to this kind of behavior doesn't change it; all we can do is not treat it as such in our personal lives and tell others why it's a good idea to do the same.

I think the key with these issues is to learn not to judge women who jump into bed whenever they want to (Regnerus could, very clearly, use a lesson on this topic), but not to judge women who DON'T, either. I agree that sex should be more than a tool for bartering, but sometimes a tool for bartering becomes one of the many other things that sex is, and as one of the greatest desires of both men and women the world over, shouldn't its value be high? Can't we recognize that its value is high and just let that be the truth, then act according to our own principles? I guess not: Violet says that Regnerus is telling us, "If you were a powerful woman, your sexual behavior would reflect your vigilance against tarnishing your impurity. Women should be exchanging sex for commitment." I'm not sure he's saying that so much as that, for centuries, this is how people thought. The changes in our sexual behavior might mean something...

I agree with Violet that the slut-shaming tone Regnerus takes is lamentable. And I don't LIKE a lot of what he's saying, no matter what his tone is. I don't agree that sex is all tied to dreams of marriage and children and commitment and a white picket fence these days, and I don't think it ever should have been or ever should be, and Regnerus should certainly be taken to task for having written an article that implies that he thinks it should. (Hey, Regnerus, those are the kinds of things you should keep to yourself n this day and age if you really believe them. Or you should at least not publish them in a huge media outlet like Slate if you don't want lots of women hunting you down.) But Violet says, "Regnerus explains in detail that women are sexual gatekeepers for men. Do not want. And when we do decide to give it up, we don’t seem to want anything – or enough – in return. The whores are not charging enough." I'm not sure he deserves THAT kind of treatment. As he points out, the cost of sex for women is lower than ever before--the Pill DID liberate us, largely, from fear of pregnancy. The sexual revolution helped us learn that we can use our bodies as we want. Digital pornography should never be treated like a replacement for a partner, by either men or women, but sometimes it might very well be used that way. I'm not saying I like what this guy's saying or agree with all of it, Violet, but I'm not sure he's all that wrong about every detail, either.

The Shelley Lubben Limited

I first met Shelley Lubben at the Exxxotica convention in New Jersey in 2009 when I went as part of the WHACK! Magazine crew. We watched her heckling people as they went by and somehow obsequiously pandering to all the big stars there as well, and we thought, this woman is a nutter. We've got to get her on camera. So we stuck our camera in her face and let her rant about how porn exploits women and makes them into prostitutes, how everyone in porn is diseased and ruined emotionally, and how she's going to save them all by shutting down the entire industry by herself. The footage of the raving, sadly, is lost. But the article I wrote about it remains. I was incredulous then that a woman of her obvious psychiatric instability could get a booth at such a large event, but then, I figured, porn conventions are kind of a whole other world, so who was I to judge?

The rest of the crew and I walked away from that thinking it would be a miracle if anyone ever took such an obvious case of hysterical, possibly-schizophrenic, self-aggrandizement seriously. But the miracle has occurred, apparently, all over the world, at various speaking engagements that Lubben has somehow managed to book for herself. Including Cambridge University (where, gods be praised, the forces of reason and pro-pornhood largely prevailed).

In case you're not aware of the Shelley Lubben Limited (which is what I like to call her, as it implies a train schedule, which therefore implies a train wreck... I really need to work on my naming skills), let me give you a very brief bit of background: Shelley Lubben was a prostitute for some years in her teens and early twenties, during which time she decided to have a go at making porn. She appeared as "Roxy" in somewhere around seventeen documented films before disappearing back into prostitution and drug addiction. In recent years, she has resurfaced as a born-again Christian on a mission to not only save porn stars from themselves because she is certain, after her traumatic porn experiences, that all porn stars are really trafficked women (she doesn't seem to feel as much sympathy for the men in the industry, as, given her typically holey line of reasoning, they are probably part of the machinery that oppresses all women in the adult industry), but also to shut down the porn industry entirely because it systematically breaks women by luring them in with the promise of money, only to rape them repeatedly and force illicit substances down their throats so it's easier for the pimps running the whole show to manipulate them. The only way back to the light of self-esteem and redemption is, of course, through Shelley's "Pink Cross Foundation" and the love our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has been speaking privately to Shelley since she was a child.

...yeah. Anyone else hear cuckoo clock noises in their heads?

See, here's the thing about Shelley. She's obvious got a screw (or several, or maybe all of them) loose, and in some ways I kind of feel bad pointing out her apparent crazitude. From the fervor with which she regularly verbally attacks the industry and the desperation in her eyes, from the depths of ridiculousness she's willing to dive to in her rants about the porn industry and her willingness to blame her own miscarriages, abortions, and subsequent health problems on her two-year stint in porn rather than her years and years of prostitution... It seems obvious to me that this woman needs her soapbox to stand on to avoid drowning a sea of self-doubt, regret, and shame about her past. Sure, Shelley is willing to admit that she made a whole lot of bad decisions in her life, from falling into drug and alcohol abuse patterns to prostitution to acting in adult films she was apparently not entirely mentally stable enough to handle. But she's only willing to admit these things in a context in which she was not the one responsible for the decisions that were made: it was either the drugs, the alcohol, the pimps, or the producers. Never Shelley. Rather than facing her own regrets about her past, Shelley has decided to blame her actions and indeed most of the trajectory of her life on other people. Those people, she's now convinced, are hoodlums and degenerates out to rape and pillage every woman who crosses their path in the most devious imaginable ways. Those people all work in the porn industry.

Given her long-term, first-name-basis relationship with the Almighty, who in Shelley's opinion seems to be loving and forgiving, but still not so big on the sex and drugs, her past is full of big-time sins that she's going to have to either own up to... or spend her life running away from. It's a shame. Because there's no shame in admitting you regret things you've done; redemption lies just on the other side of forgiving yourself. But to forgive yourself, you have to admit to some degree, however small, of culpability. And it's easier to keep running from your own judgment by flinging it outward at other people than it is to take a long, honest, loving look inward. And the scariest thing about that last sentence isn't necessarily that Shelley is flinging her judgment around; it's that, from what I've seen, she can't look inside herself and love what she sees. She can be self-righteous. She can be angry. She can be the broken result of an industry that chewed her up and spat her out. She can tell crowds of strangers about the degrading things she was put through and the most intimate details of her experiences with Johns. But look inward and feel worthy of her own respect and love? I don't think she can.

This is sad, and upsetting. And I sincerely want to leave this woman alone to her own despair and hope that she'll someday be able to forgive herself and leave the porn industry alone in due time. But, the thing is... Shelley is not just hurting herself here. Shelley is going after an already beleaguered, belittled, and besmirched industry that's been losing profits and public respect for years now. She's using sex and drugs as catchphrases to get people to look at her. She's making wild accusations about an industry that she hasn't worked in for well over a decade, spouting racist slurs, making statements that are blatantly untrue and unfounded, contradicting herself at every turn, and yet, bizarrely enough, actually getting people to listen to her because she's targeting the most villainized, blamed, and easy-to-take-pot-shots-at industry in America by saying exactly what every conservative, anti-sex, anti-porn rhetorician has ever wanted to hear about it. According to her, sex is bad. Drugs are bad. Porn is bad. Everyone in porn is either hurting someone or being hurt. The industry needs to be shut down to save lives and souls.
The last thing the porn industry needs right now, in the face of dwindling revenue and the constant media barrage of anti-porn sentiment, is one of its own turning against it and being listened to because it's so much more juicy and tabloid-worthy to hear that all the disgusting details you ever imagined about drug-addled sex addicts are so much more interesting than learning that a lot of people who make porn are intelligent, educated, sober, and disease-free. Shelley is hurting a lot of people and helping very, very few through The Pink Cross. And it pisses me off.

Thankfully, I'm not the only one out there who's pointing out that Shelley is not only full of shit but also wildly irresponsible with her accusations. She was schooled at her Cambridge debate by the forces of pro-porn rationality, and has been taken to task in blogs across the internet. And now she's being exposed via an online documentary by Lydia Lee and Michael Whiteacre called "The Devil and Shelley Lubben." So far only parts one and two have been released, but parts three and four are on their way, and they are doing a very, very good job of presenting a coherent argument against her anti-porn rhetoric, using mostly Shelley's own words. Check it out and see if you feel as enraged and yet somewhat sad about the situation as I do.

Body Hair Announcement

Hello darlings. The news is making me too upset to coherently talk about what I think these days. I have a lot to say but it's all to jumbled and angry right now to be written down. So, while I'm bubbling and boiling and trying to get to a point of coherent argument... I would like to make an announcement.
About a month ago, I stopped shaving my legs. I've been shaving them, and my pits, and depending on my sexual activity level, my nether regions, since sometime in early high school. And this winter I suddenly realized, after having gotten lazy for about a week, that you can't see my damn leg hair. I'm a sweaty, stinky, hairy Celtic/northern European mix, but I got lucky in the leg hair department. The follicles down there put forth light, almost clear, downy hairs that can only be seen if you're really looking for them, or if I'm standing in front of a dark background with backlighting. Then they look like they have halos, as the above picture illustrates (no, that's not me; I stole that from DailyMail.uk). But aside from that, they're almost imperceptible; I had to inform both my boyfriend and my girlfriend that they were there. And they're almost an inch long at this point!
I just wanted to let everyone know that. Because, honestly, it's kind of awesome to have leg hair. Not only do I feel somewhat more macho, but I feel very empowered. Kind of like: nobody can make me do this if I don't want to. And even kind of sneaky--if I didn't announce it, nobody would even know I was going against a societal norm. I'm very subversive over here.
And the coolest thing? If I don't have any leg garments on, I can feel the breeze in my leg hair when I turn around! The hairs are so downy they kind of blow around in the wind. And if I'm wearing baggy pants I can feel them moving against the material. It makes me feral, like a cat with bushy whiskers. And really, I guess that's what body hair's all about. It doesn't really keep us warmer, but it can serve as a very late warning system if something weird is going on nearby. I'm digging it.
Lag out.

Lady Porn Week: Porn I Recommend to Everybody, Day 4

And, last but certainly not least in today's "Porn I Recommend to Everyone" as part of Lady Porn Day Week (Lady Porn Week?):

4) For those of you who are into the story and the sex, who want to see sex as part of a story, who want to see sex from new and different angles, but want to see it in ways that most porn never explores... For those who are into real looking sex where things don't always go perfectly, where awkwardness and nervousness are a part of the experience like they are in real life, and yet is filmed by someone who knows how to use a camera (amateur stuff is great, but the lighting's always terrible, the TV's always on in the background, and then the cat jumps up on the bed... ick)... May I recommend Jennifer Lyon Bell's Blue Artichoke Films. Lyon Bell, a Harvard grad and sexual pioneer, makes her own brand of "explicit erotic" film that doesn't follow any formula you've ever seen. These are films first, erotic second, and explicit third (some aren't even explicit, but are so erotic that the explicitness isn't necessary for the hotness to be scorching). They'll make you think, but only after they've made you wet. Personally, I love them. They're still new to the US, originating as they do in the Netherlands, where Lyon Bell is living and working (and teaching)--jump on a totally worthwhile bandwagon now and get your own copy of Matinee and Headshot (a remake of the original Andy Warhol short film, but this time with a more hetero bent). No matter what you think you're expecting, you won't be disappointed and you will probably be pleasantly surprised.

Lady Porn Day(Week): Porn I Recommend to Everybody, Day 3

Today's recommendation, for those of you who aren't so much into the mainstream straight stuff, or the traditional lesbian setups, or the annoying "plots" getting in the way of hardcore action...

3) The Crash Pad Series. This delectable, dirty, devious collection of scenes from Pink and White, started and still run by the indomitable Shine Louise Houston, is neither for the faint of heart nor the easily intimidated by genderqueerness, but it is, hands down, some of the hottest action you will see this side of heaven (I dunno about you guys, but my version of heaven is a LOT hotter than the traditional "harps and halos" scene). The Crash Pad Series, touted on its website as "Authentic Lesbian, Dyke, Trans, Queer Porn," features almost 100 scenes over 14 seasons so far, and stars some of the most beautiful people of every gender and sexual preference, color and shape, size and kinkiness level. From super-sexy standbys like Jiz Lee to Dylan Ryan to Lorelei Lee to real-life partners and non-professionals in the world of porn, the episodes encompass sexual expression, perversion, and sensuality in an honest, skillful, and often strikingly artistic way. There is very little in the way of background story or dialogue in most scenes, and once you've signed up at the website, there is so much variation from scene to scene, that whether you're a trans man who likes watching lipstick lesbians giggle through a scene or a novice bisexual woman who wants to see what a trans man does with his strap-on, you'll find material enough to get off to several times over. I can't say it enough: The Crash Pad will blow your load, and your mind, all in one place.

Lady Porn Day: Porn I Recommend to Everybody, Day 2

On Day 2 I might be going down a slightly unexpected path, but stick with me, people. Another porn company I'm going to recommend to ladies is...

2) Jennaration X Studios, owned and operated by the multi-AVN winning reigning princess of porn, Jenna Haze. It's way mainstream for my style, I know. But it's easy for weird, out-there, queer-porn-loving, sex-blogging me to forget sometimes that mainstream is mainstream for a reason: lots of people like it. And though I don't necessarily love all of the titles that Jenna directs, because some fit into niche categories that I personally find distasteful (like the standard industry model of "interracial" movies, which involve almost exclusively black men and white women and reinforce all KINDS of racial stereotypes), the titles of hers that I have chosen to watch have been scorching hot.

Jenna Haze is one of the first porn stars I ever met in person, and she impressed me immediately. She is all business, all the time, which is saying a lot given that her name is taken from a certain type of intoxicating, flowering plant that is somewhat more legal in Cali than in most places, if you get my drift, and she enjoys imbibing the smoke from this plant often and in quantity. But despite what might be a handicap for other aspiring businesswomen, Jenna is "on" at every moment, networking, promoting, and working her ass off to make it as a female director in an incredibly male-dominated world. Mainstream straight porn is a shark tank, no doubt about it, and Jenna is a very small lady shark, but she is very fierce.

And she makes fantastic movies. "Legs Up, Hose Down" nearly flattened me, and "Meow," an all-girl romp through mainstream lesbian heaven, was divine. Jenna stars in most of her movies, and she's searingly sexy, delightfully dirty, and powerfully in control at all times. She loves making her movies, and it shows in her spirited and vocal and raunchy performances. And, well, she's mind-blowingly hot, too. Her scenes are just that--scenes. No acting, no overly ponderous storyline. Just straight-up sex, served on a silver platter, usually with a side of anal. And not only are her movies excellent, they're directed by Haze herself and maintain a slightly off perspective for mainstream porn: you can tell there's a woman in control here, even if it's just a tad skewed from scenes directed by men. And an added bonus: Haze only films natural-breasted women. Not that I have any issue, per se, with fake breasts, but I prefer natural ones. They looks so much softer and more squeezable!

All her distribution is through Jules Jordan Video: you can find her DVDs here. For those of you who like porn to be a little easy, a little niche-y, and a little less interested in exploring politicized gender than some of the other companies I may recommend, Jennaration X is for you.

Lady Porn Day: Porn I Recommend to Ladies/Queers/Everybody, Day 1

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Sex Noises, Brought to You By Cold, Calculating Women

Courtesy of the indomitable Violet Blue, I give you all a study that provides evidence of women using their "copulatory vocalizations" to influence their male partners' behavior and ejaculation. No kidding? You mean women actually modulate the way they respond to their partners to get what they want out of them? Moan louder when they think he's about to cum so they can get back to whatever it was they were doing before? Pay enough attention to what he's doing to respond accordingly? Why, what a surprise! ...I kind of want to yawn over this, but then again, it's always cool when science backs up things we've all always known but never really talked about.

Anyway, sorry, but no time today for a more interesting post. Enjoy the above article and forgive me for my busy-ness! Will write more tomorrow!

Let the Festivities Begin!

It is now Friday, which marks the start of the official Miss Lagsalot/Lynsey G BIRTHDAY WEEKEND! There's a chance I'll get inspired in between parties and hangovers and decide to post a new blog entry, but I won't promise anything!

In the meantime, I'm happy to report that, just like so many previous times in my life, Tristan Taormino has made me feel much better about the world of pornography after yesterday's descent into Khan Tusion-fired depression. Danny Wylde, of course, helped a lot.

Check out this outstanding interview on Danny Wylde's blog as part of his "ethical porn project." Tristan Taormino, my personal hero and consummate feminist director of high-class, super-smart smut, dishes on consent, sobriety, and personal choice on her sets, and it makes me kind of feel like there are flowers and birds chirping outside and rainbows and butterflies on every one of her movies. If only all directors were so concerned with ethics! But hey, some are, and hopefully outspoken advocates like Tristan will help turn it into the industry standard! You go, lady!

Shivers and Shudders over Khan Tusion

Ok, so, yeah, guys, this is what scares me about aggression in blowjobs and in porn in general: it's a blog post on Hey, Epiphora about Khan Tusion's legacy of "edgy" porn that drove women to near collapse. It's upsetting, but it's important to read and think about, because it brings up the fact that, for all the absolutely beautiful, consensual, super-sexy porn that's out there being made by intelligent and responsible people, there's always somebody trying to fuck it all up and prove people like Gail Dines and Natasha Vargas-Cooper right. Porn of this kind is borne of evil and out to help nobody. And it makes me so sad to think about it, hear about it, see it, or be confronted with it that I try to just stay away from it in general.

But staying away from it--ignoring it, in other words--helps exactly nobody, too. The article I'm linking to up above and right here puts together only a minor compendium of the wrongs that Khan Tusion committed against his contracted stars in his heyday, and it's both disturbing and rage-inducing. Because this guy, Mr. Tusion, went around victimizing women on camera for years and because people were willing to ignore the fact that he was obviously going past the point of consent and well into rape and aggravated assault territory, he made money and became fairly successful.

Looking away sometimes just proves anti-porn people's points and allows truly atrocious things to go on. This kind of stuff isn't just upsetting, it's downright wrong and I am depressed as hell to know that it ever happened. This is where porn performers themselves and porn consumers, too, need to stand up for what's right and demand that standards of ethical conduct be applied to everyone who wants to make professional pornography. In an industry that's already everybody's scapegoat for virtually every evil humankind indulges in, keeping people like Khan Tusion (and Max Harcdcore? maybe? I'm pursuing interviews with women who worked with him to get more on that story) out of the mix is absolutely essential. People like him, who are in it to hurt and degrade other people, are the reasons that fears about sloppy blowjobs and misogyny can sometimes be justified. They are the reason that Gail Dines and Shelly Lubben and her ilk can get away with bald-facedly blaming porn for things: because, even though the majority of the industry is ethical and full of lovely people, as long as even a small amount of professional, nonconsensual, violent pornography is being made, distributed, and purchased, that's proof of the caterwauling naysayers' doomsday predictions.

I'm just so sad right now. I'm going to go. Sigh.

Bondage

Today I had my first experience with real bondage. It was amazing. And I am exhausted. I will write more later. Snoooooze!

DVD Cover Ponderings

Today's hangover is brought to you by cheap two-for-one vodka martinis with disappointing olives. And it is a killer. I shall blog through it! And let me tell you, nothing takes the edge off like digging through a brand new box of porn! I just got a MASSIVE shipment of DVDs, eleven altogether, from a porn company for review, and... well... wow. I have obviously been dawdling too long in the world of high-end erotica and plot-driven queer porn, because leafing through titled like "Cocked and Loaded," "Ass Mounted," and "Big Addiction" came as something of a shock. I'd forgotten how sleazy the covers of porno DVDs can be!

And I mean suh-leazy! And ok, that's all well and good. Not every DVD needs beautiful art design and breathtaking backgrounds, but some of this is just... Well... Maybe it's a matter of taste. Maybe I'm just not your average porn consumer. But I can't help wondering exactly who in the damn world would find appealing the image of a young woman, shot from below as she spreads her legs wide, with a HUGE veiny and unattractive penis (not all penises are unattractive, but this one I've got in mind REALLY is) originating somewhere behind the camera and disappearing into a kind of grotesquely stretched orifice. It's just. I mean, it's so gratuitous. Like, obviously there are going to be close-up shots of this woman being penetrated from every possible angle during the movie, when one will ostensibly already be aroused and images like this will be more sexy than disturbing. But on the box cover? It just looks like she's being impaled on the world's ugliest dong, in a totally unattractive way, and from the look on her face, the pressure of the thing is so intense it's making her eyeballs pop out, and she's not enjoying that sensation one bit.

I'm at a loss as to who sees that DVD cover in the video store and says, "Yes, this is the one I want to buy." Obviously somebody, or this type of image wouldn't be as prevalent as it is (though, thankfully, it's not all that prevalent; the cover of "Ass Mounted" was actually very tastefully done, comparatively). But I wonder if people do market research on this kind of thing. If so, I'd love to read some of it. How popular are DVDs with covers like this when bought based on box cover images? It'd be fascinating the demographic information on who purchases what, because I'm just having trouble picturing the person who sees the monolithic cock shooting off into the middle distance and thinks, "Oh yeah that's hot."

Anybody know anything about this? I'm super curious.

Oh, speaking of being curious, remember those posts a while back about blowjobs in queer porn? Totally doing interviews with some hot studs of the queer porn world for an article for TheWomansPOV.com! You guys are gonna love it.

The Great Gangbang Interview with Sabrina Deep, Part II

Part II of my grandiose gangbang interview with Sabrina Deep! I think this is where we really get down to the nitty-gritty...

Lag: Do the guys have a sense of camaraderie? Do they talk and get to know one another before they go onto the stage/in front of the camera? Or is it more of an awkward silence kind of situation?

Sabrina: Some are silent, at least for a while. They have never participated in a gangbang and especially with an adult performer, so they are shy and compare sizes... You know guys! But there are always a few outspoken, extroverted, funny guys, and after we hang out all together the general mood is pretty good and relaxed by the time we start. There is talking, there are jokes, but without forgetting what we are doing!

Lag: What do you usually say to break the ice with the first few guys, before things really get going? What’s appropriate “gangbang chit-chat”?

Sabrina: Uhm, i don’t have a script. I’m just being myself. I talk to them, I look them in the eyes, I let them feel I want them, I direct the situation a bit. If they get the feeling that you like what you are doing then the ice is broken easily. If you are there because you must be there, they can feel it and it would have been better if you stayed home making yourself a pie or something.

Lag: Do you think that for most guys it’s best to go first, in the middle, or last? Is it best to “break the seal” or to get the grand finale, or to be lost in the middle where nobody’s paying too much attention?

Sabrina: It’s awesome how these mechanics work smoothly if you don’t pretend to set the line and the turns in advance. Set them free and those who like to break the seal will come forward first, while the lovers of a sloppy second will remain in the dark until they feel I’m sloppy enough for them. Also, I wouldn’t say that anybody gets lost in the middle: more often than not the vojeurs hit the middle time because they can't hold it anymore. There is always some appropriate action.

Lag: What happens if a guy can’t get it up at the last minute? I’d imagine the experience can be really stressful for some men. If someone gets ready to do it and then loses his hard-on, how do you, as the orchestrator, handle it?

Sabrina: If another guy is hard, rest assure that he will handle it for me! Normally I like to keep the stressed guy beside me right into the action, though, and touching his nuts, wanking him a bit, and stuff like that. If nothing happens (but usually it does), it's the guy himself leaving the bed and waiting for a better time. I’ve never seen someone leaving the premises.

Lag: What happens if you’re dealing with, say, five guys at a time, and one of them just ISN’T doing it for you? Do you try to tactfully ignore him and hope he’ll give up? Do you just grin and bear it? Do you ask him to leave?

Sabrina: With five guys, I am concentrated only on myself and my senses. There is too much going on for receiving a bad input from one guy out of five, and it’s almost impossible to direct anything but my own spasms.

Lag: What if someone, as I saw in one of your videos, isn’t proactive about his involvement? If, say, he has a smallish dick and from where he’s standing you can’t reach him to give him oral… and he just stands there waiting? How do you encourage him to get more involved?

Sabrina: That’s something that really pisses me off! I ask him to come closer of course; sometimes I have to tell him straight that I’m not Mr. Fantastic and that if he does not help out, I won’t be able to do anything with him.

Lag: I know a lot of bodily fluids end up on your skin: do you take breaks between to wipe it off that get edited out of the film?

Sabrina: It depends from the film and from the production. A gangbang-bukkake requires the body fluids to stay where they land. If there is gokkun involved, sperm is removed but only in order to be collected and fed to me. Some productions require clean shots and therefore there is constant body fluids removal and related film editing. My own productions tend to be filmed in one shot with a little break in the middle and the wipe happens during the break eventually.

Lag: How many times do you think you usually orgasm during a gangbang? Or is it not about the orgasm for you, but more about the communal experience?

Sabrina: No, it’s all about senses. The communal experience contributes to increase and to vehicle the pleasure, but without orgasms I wouldn’t see the point of having a communal experience in bed, rather than in a pub or at a restaurant. The number of orgasms is never the same, it’s hard to quantify on average. It can go from two or three to a couple of tens. Sometimes I have two or three, but they build up slowly and I feel on the edge for most of the gangbang; it’s a beautiful feeling and when I explode those couple of times. It’s freaking instense. Other times they happen more often, but with less brain involvement. Eithyer way, it’s heaven.

Lag: Do you feel like your gangbangs bring people together in a friendly, happy way? Or does it just bring joy and happiness to YOU?

Sabrina: I hope both things. You should ask my fans, but I sense that we both benefit!

Lag: Any funny stories about gangbangs where the etiquette was broken?

Sabrina: Once I had the weirdest guy ever in one of my gangbangs. It was a small one, with five guys. This guy had a small dick and he couldn’t get it up, but he was always laying down straight beside me, not allowing the other guys to have room for action. When, after a few unsuccessful polite invites to move, he was told loud and clear to get off the bed, he stood up and as soon as he did, his small, down dick started to spray and incredible amount of cum all over everybody. There was this little fluffy thing penduling as he was moving and shooting cum all over the place and the people. It was really surreal.

Lag: Any last thoughts about gangbangs for my readers?

Sabrina: You’re all invited to join my gangbangs. It’s free, it’s fun, it’s safe. Check my World Bukkake Tour website or follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/sabrinadeep – and i hope to meet you soon in the flesh. And remember: if you don’t come to me, I’ll come to you. It’s a promise.

The Great Gangbang Interview with Sabrina Deep, Part I

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Saturday Busy-ness Leads to Links

It's a beautiful, crisp, January Saturday, and I'm running around like a chicken with a severed head somewhere in the city that it's absolutely got to find. So I'm leaving you with these fun tidbits:

1) I am a total Cracked.com junkie. I have no idea where they get their information from most the time, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of their evidence is shaky at best in the "reliable" department, but they sure do point out some interesting perspectives on things, and this time it's no different: 5 Ways Porn Created the Modern World. From how it spurred the success of printing press to how it basically invented the internet as we know it to how it will clean that same internet up, porn is the reason we live in the world we do. I totally agree.

2) I have a lot I could say about what's going on with MTV, Taco Bell, and "Skins" right now, but since I haven't actually watched the show or really kept up with the news on this topic, I'll just send you over to Salon to read about "Why MTV Should Stick Up for 'Skins'". Personally, I think this is a great launching pad for a greater freedom of discussion between adults and their kids about the realities of sex, but hey, that's just me. Dunno what y'all think.

3) Possibly one of the best concrete examples ever of Why To Formally Divorce and Otherwise Get the Fuck Away from Lunatic Abusive Men: Holly Lahti, winner of Idaho's $190 million lottery jackpot, whose only public persona up to this date has been her horrendously beat-up mug shot from 2003 (?) when she and her husband were both charged with assault and battery. Over the past decade, her husband, who she is separated but not divorced from, has been brought up on charges of everything from kidnapping to assault to domestic violence to being a total douchebag in every way, but Lahti hasn't managed (one can hope she at least tried) to divorce the man. And now that she's claimed her post-tax lump sum of over $80 million, Idaho law states that this abusive sonofabitch has a right to claim HALF of it. Let this be a lesson to all women who don't get the hell away from abusive husbands: if you ever win a fortune, your dude might be entitled to it, and if he's hitting you, he doesn't deserve it.