Nov 15, 2010

Pondering Load-Dropping

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I'm not sure how well-acquainted all of you out there are with Nick Manning. I don't want to insult anyone's porn-telligence by assuming complete ignorance, so suffice it to say he is the male porn performer of "dropping loads" fame. That is to say, when he... er... blows his wad, usually on somebody's face, in one of his scenes, he almost always grunts/screams/growls a variation of his infamous catchphrase: "Droppin' loads!!!" And yes, yes it does need that many exclamation points.

Don't believe me? Google it. I dare you.

Anyway, I recently watched a themed movie starring said Mr. Manning, in which he played "The Bat," aka "Batfuck," aka a pornified version of The Dark Knight. As the first sex scene was starting to reach a fever pitch, it suddenly occurred to me that in his caped crusader outfit (only the pants and cape had been removed, and he was sweating disconcertingly all over his two female costars from under his rubber hood), he would almost have to take one of two routes when he reached his climax: 1) not say, "Droppin' loads," because it wouldn't fit the setting, or 2) tailor the phrase to fit the setting.

In true seasoned-performer form, he took the second option, bellowing, "Aaaaahhhh, droppin' fuckin' bat-loads all over your face! Eat my bat-cum!" as he bust his nut. (That may not be verbatim but it's pretty close, I assure you. Feel free to watch the scene to be sure.) I'll admit, as distasteful as the phrasing is when it's written down, it was pretty funny at the time to see him take his character so far and to hear a new spin on the beloved old classic.

But it got me to thinking. And I know many people don't think quite so much while watching the epic peak of a threesome, but I've been doing this for a while... What must be the psychological impact of making oneself the king of the cum-catchphrase? He's sure made a name for himself on it; he told me when I last interviewed him that he's releasing a line of his own movies with the "Droppin' Loads" theme as their centerpiece. There are compilations out there of him screaming out his ecstasy in uncouth syntax. He's done a whole series of Halloween-themed load drops on Howard Stern. He's one of the most revered names and one of the very few easily recognizable faces in the heterosexual male porn star world. He's definitely got a good thing going.

But I wonder, when he's having sex in his private life, or masturbating alone at home (which I doubt he actually does that often, given what he does for a living, but still...), does he still get the urge to bawl, "Droppin' loads"? Does he have to suppress the urge, hold in his ecstasy, to avoid feeling like he's at work? Or, conversely, does he feel silly when he does it on set? Is it forced and awkward, but expected, so he just keeps doing it to keep up his persona? Or is it some unpleasant combination of the two? Has his experience of orgasm been irreparably diminished by the long-term focus on vociferating his pleasure? Is it now more of a chore to ejaculate, knowing that when he does he'd better have a zinger planned? Or is it maybe better? Perhaps he glories in his ability to turn his splooge into celebrity merely by christening it with the magical Manning treatment?

I can't really speak for any of these options being better than any others, although I hope for his sake that his orgasm is enhanced by its status as pop-culture icon, as opposed to one more climax in a parade of almost endless spews. For most of us, there will only be a few monumental orgasms, spaced out over the course of our lives, that will stand out in memory as we go to meet our maker. A few that were so explosive, or so perfect, or so... well... orgasmic (what other adjective could encapsulate it so well), that we will always cherish as spiritual and mystical events. But the majority will be forgotten, if we've had them with any frequency at all, alone or with a partner or numerous partners. But Nick Manning's orgasms will remain memorable to him, and to the thousands of people who have seen and heard them. Maybe he's got the right idea.

I'd like to say I'm going to come up with my own catchphrase and try it out, then document the results for your benefit, dear reader, but I just don't think I'm up to it. If the "cheapening the experience" hypothesis is correct, I'll be a very sad porn writer who can hardly enjoy her work or her sex life at all anymore. If it turns out to be as great as Nick seems to find it, my neighbors will be intensely unhappy with me. And anyway, what does a woman get to say? My orgasm is so elusive and so variable, I can never predict it with any degree of certainty, and when I think it's around the corner I often find that focusing on it scares it away, like a spotty nebula in the night sky. It's shy. If I were to start shrieking, "Spasming Vaginal Muscles!" every time I thought one was on the horizon, I'd just scare my partner and my climax both away permanently. And, as if the preceding "catchphrase" weren't enough of a clue, I'm not exactly witty or succinct, so catchphrases are probably not my next big career turn anyway.

But still, readers, I invite you to ponder this question in the comments, or try it out yourselves are report back... I'll be interested to hear the results. Or the sound clips.

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